Driven by Love
by AuoraBlaze
Summary: When Spongebob fails his driving yet again, Sandy decides to try and help Spongebob with learning to drive. What's the worst that could happen...? Spandy, with some action between Patrick and a pile of sand.
1. Chapter 1

_Some of you may know me from around, I tend to review a lot more than I write stories. Buuuuuut this is my first fanfiction story (duh lol)! Obviously Spandy. But before I begin, I'd like to thank FluffOverdose for inspiring me to stop being lazy and to go out there and write a spandy story. . I've had this plot idea floating around my head for a while, so thank Fluff for it being here on... er, Fanfiction. Make sure to go read her stories too!_

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><p>"SPONGEBOB! SPONGEBOB, THE BRAKE, THE BRAKE!" Mrs. Puff screamed and frantically tried to take control over the steering wheel of the boat. He could not do so, because he had sawed off the break from the boat at the beginning of the lesson, before flooring it like he always did. "Okay, I'll try to do something..." Spongebob's eyes searched for a way of stopping the boat, sighting the joystick and he began to try and pull it back as far as he could.<p>

But it was too late to try and stop it now. The thing was like an animal, except only louder.

The boat crashed through various buildings and objects while Spongebob battled with the joystick, unaware that he was stepping on the accelerator while he was doing so, before catching on fire due to the speed it was going, passing a police cruiser on the way by.

"Mrs Puff, quick, jump out!" Spongebob called as he pulled on a cord, unleashing his emergency para-shoot. But Mrs Puff did not seem to hear him, as she was too busy screaming. Spongebob's eyes followed the boat as he floated down to the side of the road on his para-shoot. It was still on fire, and Mrs Puff was still flailing her arms in the air -or water, depending on what way you look at it- and screaming. She didn't seem to realize Spongebob was not inside the boat anymore, as she was still shouting for him to hit the brake.

Spongebob continued to watch the boat, not moving from his place on the road. Eventually the boat began to loose speed. Thinking the boat would stop after a few minutes, Spongebob began to run towards it. But he stopped shortly afterword, after seeing the boat drive over a rather large oil puddle, causing it to skid into a brick wall.

Spongebob jumped in shock at the sudden sound of the slam, and once again he sprinted towards the boat. "Mrs Puff! Mrs Puff, are you okay?" No sooner than after he said this, Mrs Puff's body inflated like a beach ball.

"Stay away from the boat, Spongebob. Just stay away from it," Mrs Puff uttered in a deep, angry tone. Police cruisers began to pull up around the crashed boat, and not shortly after their arrival, an ambulance parked behind the cruisers and men began to emerge from it.

Sensing he was not needed or wanted, Spongebob began to retreat back up the road. But he could not resist asking.

"Mrs Puff, did I pass the test this time?" He tried to ask it casually, but it ended up sounding like the answer of this question his life depended on.

"No, no you did not. And at this rate, I doubt you ever will," came the reply from the stretcher she was being carried on. She cried as she thought of all the next horror filled driving lessons she had to give Spongebob once she recovered, before quickly being stuffed into the back of the ambulance by the ambulance men.

Spongebob sighed, and began to walk back home, thinking over what had just happened. He hadn't been paying attention to where he was walking since he was deep in thought, and accidentally bumped into Patrick a few minutes later.

"Oh, hi Patrick." Spongebob peered down at Patrick, who was huddled over the ground, giggling every so often. "What're you doing there?"

Patrick stood up. "Hey Spongebob. This is my new friend, Hilly!" he announced, gesturing to the ground. "What's that? No, Spongebob is my best friend, and a friend of mine is a friend of yours." He crossed his arms and closed his eyes with a stubborn expression, while Spongebob stared at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Where's Hilly, Patrick? I can't see... er, it." He asked, scanning the ground for this "Hilly".

Patrick gasped, and kneeling down put his arms around a tiny mound of sand. "How dare you call her an 'it'!" He turned to the mound and began to mutter to it. "I can see what you see now, Hilly. I'm sorry I ever doubted you... What, no! Don't say that! We've only just met, you can't leave me now! Please! No!" He began to sob and roll around, crying out Hilly's name.

Spongebob sighed. "Well, I'll see you later, buddy." And with that, he left Patrick be and began to make for home again, thinking of what he could do.

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><p><em>That's the end of chapter one! :3 Please review, so that I know people are actually reading this and so that I'm not just writing for an empty audience. XD The more reviews UI get per chapter = the faster I'll update? _ Even subscriptions would be nice, I just want to know that people are reading. ^^;<em>


	2. Chapter 2

_Author's Note: You guys make me happy. 8'D So another chapter early for joos! If it can be called a chapter! xD;  
><em>

_FluffOverdose-_

_Awwww. *tear* Glad that I inspire you! And Livvy it is! I'll edit it while I'm editing chapter 1, I noticed a few parts that I just stuffed in at the last minute that don't make sense. :p_

_Thank you! I plan for Patrick & Hilly to be the subplot, because I plan for the main plot to turn into SRS BIZNESS, so then there'll still be the kinda funny stuff from the subplot! 8D I have another plot idea as well that I say you'd approve of, I just hope I don't accidentally steal one of your oneshot plot ideas. D| *paranoid*_

_And glad you were so eager to read it, as short as it is! xD And alright, I'll keep that in mind. |D I'll be there for For 12 years as well! _

_Can't wait to read it! :3 _

_sudordepelotadecuellorojoXD (awesome name you got there!)- Thanks! And okay, was this soon enough for you? XD_

_dbzgtfan2004- Thanks! And you can say that again, with emphasis on forever! ='D_

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><p>Slamming the front door closed, Spongebob walked over to his couch and sat down, switching on the TV. Perhaps it'd take his mind off...<p>

A boating insurance ad came on.

"Do you own a boat? Does it have insurance? If it doesn't, you're watching the right thing! Floyd's Boating Insurance supplies windshie-"

Spongebob abruptedly changed over the channel.

"Two! Look for a safe place! Three, don't hurry, stop and wait!" The screen showed fish children on the street, with boats zooming past them from their place on the sidewallk. Spongebob narrowed his eyes and switched the channel a second time.

"Offering a new boat scrappage deal! Look in store for-"

Spongebob flicked off the TV, his eye twitching. He began to sob, rolling around the floor crying, much like Patrick cried over Hilly earlier.

Gary crawled in from kitchen, staring at the crying sponge. "Meow?"  
>Spongebob lifted his head and sniffed. "I failed the boating test, Gary. Again. And Mrs Puff I might not ever pass it... waaaaaaaaaaahahahaaaa!" He let his face fall to the floor.<p>

"Meeeeeeeooooooow!"  
>Spongebob sat upright and gasped. "Gary the Snail, we do not use those words in this household!"<p>

"Meow. Meow meow meow meowmeowmeow, meow meow." Gary began to slither away. "Meow meow meow."

"You're right, Gary, moping around won't benefit me in any way. But what should I do? Patrick is... busy, I don't have work today and Squidward is having a meeting with Mr Krabs."

Gary sighed. "Meow meow?"

Spongebob jumped up. "That's a great idea, Gary! I bet Sandy isn't busy today." He began to head for the door, trying not to appear overly eager to get to Sandy's, and failing. Gary just stared after him, smiling to himself. He knew about Spongebob's crush on Sandy, though Spongebob himself hadn't breathed a word of it to him. It all becomes clear when you read your owner's diary when he goes to work.

Spongebob arrived at the Treedome, holding a bunch of flowers in his hand. He whistled as he waited for Sandy to drain out the entrance. When it was drained, Sandy opened the door for him.

"Hey Spongebob! Not that I'm not happy to see you or anything, but what brings you round here?"  
>"No reason... Just decided to drop by. Am I interrupting anything?" He remembered the flowers he was holding. "Oh, I brought you these." He held out the flowers.<p>

"Why thank you!" She took them from him. "And no, it's just that you haven't come by in a while. Great to see you again!"

Spongebob's face fell. "Haven't I? I'm sorry, I've been kinda caught up in boating school..." He sighed.

Sandy, sensing Spongebob didn't seem too entuasiastic about it, so she let the subject drop. "Well, come on in! I should put these into a vase," she said, looking down at the flowers. "I don't want to start drying up right after I got 'em!"

Spongebob smiled and stepped inside. Sandy shut the door, and began to make for the picnic table, Spongebob following suit.

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><p><em>Kinda a cliffhanger, I know. But I was extremely lazy and decided to stop at where I was at, since it's 12am and a schoolnight. XD<em>

_Reviews & subscriptions are appreciated!  
><em>


	3. Chapter 3

_Thank you for the reviews & faves, everyone! If this was deviantart I would be overusing the la emoticon, because I'm surprised at the massive (at least it's massive in my eyes LOL) popularity of my story, WOO  
><em>

_But so sorry for not updating! I'm not going to lie... I've been watching the new Spongebob episodes. they're. killing. my. inner. fangirl. _

_Yknow, the one inside me that mentally screams every time I rewatch SB and Sandy getting married. The one that mentally hypervenitialates every time I watch the Overbooked/Karate Island/Prehibernation Week episodes. The one that mentally wheeks (yes, wheek like a guinea pig) whenever I look on page 56 of the Spongebob Survival Guide. eue The lameness of the new episodes are just crushing me, and that fangirl that helps to write these fics. Seriously, someone go find Stephen Hillenburg and I'll give him a piece of my mind /from/ that dying fangirl inside me. *growl*_

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><p>Patrick was lying on the ground, next to Hilly, making small talk. "So, what do you watch on television?" He turned to face the mound of sand. "Oh, don't worry, take your time deciding," he said, patting it.<p>

xxxxx

Sandy was running on her exercise wheel, needing to burn those "carbs", with Spongebob standing nearby, feeling thankful that Sandy hadn't forced him to run on it. His arms still hurt from the last time he was on it.

"So, Spongebob, what've you been up to lately?" she asked, not at all out of breath from running.

"Well... I... uh," Spongebob began to sweat. "I've been doing boating exams. Lots of them."  
>"That's good! Did you pass them?"<p>

Spongebob looked down at the ground. "No. I failed all of them," he said in a small voice.

Sandy slowed her pace. "I'm sorry to hear that... Did you try to get a tutor?"

"Yeah... I tried Patrick, but it didn't work, and the best driving instructor in the sea couldn't teach me. I can only drive with a blindfold on."

Sandy wrackled her brain for a reply. Unless she...

What was she thinking? _**Don't, Sandy, don't**_, she thought to herself,_** what if he-**_

"If you like, I could try and help you with it, Spongebob."  
><strong><em>Too late.<em>** She was mentally slapping herself now, but what was the worst that could happen...? Apart from getting killed, that is. But there was no way that teaching a sea critter to drive would cause death. Right?

xxxxx

Half an hour later, Patrick was still waiting for a reply from Hilly. An ant crawled out from the sand mound.

Patrick, who had been staring intently at her for all that time, gasped. "Hilly! We don't 'go' in public, we 'go' it in the bathroom!" He picked up Hilly and began to make for Goo Lagon.

xxxxx

Spongebob's eyes grew wide. "Really?"

Sandy, who had stepped out from the exercise wheel, shrugged. "I guess it wouldn't hurt to give it a try."

Spongebob began to jump up and down. "Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy! This. will. be. GREAT! When should we start?"

Sandy looked at a watch that magically appeared on her wrist. "We could start right now, if you don't have any plans for the next few hours."  
>"I sure don't!"<p>

"Alright then, let's go!" She was already in her air suit, heading for the door. Spongebob hadn't moved from his place, and he still had his wide eyed expression. Sandy sighed, and dragged him by the arm out the door.


	4. Chapter 4

_*waltzes in* Heeeey guys! I'm, once again, fashionably late... by three months. XD I had a 'spandy block' for a while there, but recently I started school again, yeah? And we had to write an essay for english, one page on "The First Time Ever". Of course, one page is just not enough for me, so I had to go all out and do four pages! xDDD Annd as a result, the teacher marked my essay as 'Excellent. Relevant, humorous, and possesses a nice flow', so that was a major boost to my spandy block, and it's what started to get me out of that awful hole. And when my friends read my essay (I did it on skydiving, even though I've never went skydiving before even I want to so badly. It's on my list of things to do before I die. |D) they asked me if I ever went skydiving before, because from the story it sounded like I did. ='D 4TH CLASS ALL OVER AGAIN. _  
><em>Anyway, I'm really sorry about not updating! But you forgive me, right?<em>  
><em>*awkward silence*<em>  
><em>*tumbleweed*<em>  
><em>... MOVING ON. I'm working on picking up the pace with my stories again, you'll be glad to know! Working on a spandy drabble at the mo', and thinking of doing some tsustar oneshots. c: About this story, I have NO IDEA where I'm going with it. I don't want to do the "spongebob passes test and ends up getting laid from sandy" thing because that's too cliché... If anyone has any ideassuggestions, message me! _

_If you read that text wall, you get a cookie and a virtual hug! o3o Enjoy this chapter, made it extra long as a bribe for forgiveness!_

**spandyspandyspandyspandy**

Sandy sat in the passenger seat of the boat. "Okay, Spongebob, into the boat."

They were at Jellyfish Fields, using a boat they found at the side of the road. Finders keepers, right?

He stared anxiously at the boat. At first it had seemed like a good idea, but his eagerness had died down and now instead had nail-biting nerves welled up inside him. It went without saying that he would crash the boat at stage; he didn't want that to happen and have /her/ get hurt, out of all the people. Thinking fast, he said the first thing that came into his head.

"Uhh. I actually forgot I have to go... rearrange my underwear drawer bye Sandy!" He started to walk away quickly, but before he knew it Sandy was in front of him and pushing him back towards the boat.

"Y'ain't gettin' off that easy, Squarepants."

Giving up, he walked around to the driver's seat and slammed the door, turning to look at her expectantly.

"Golly, no need to get all swole up 'bout it, partner!" she exclaimed, settling back down into her seat, putting on her seatbelt. "Yer just prolly gettin' a few last minute nerves, s'complety natural! By the time I'm done with y'all, y'all 'ill be as taken to driving this piece o' metal as a bee is to stingin'!" she proclaimed confidentially.

"Alright, now what do y'all do first?"

Spongebob's iris diminished and his brow creased in worry. "Y-you... you... Starboard?"  
>"No, silly!" she giggled.<br>"First y'all start the engine. Think of it like turnin' on the grill at yer day job, y'all can't cook the patties without the grill on, right?" He nodded. "Then the engine is the same. Y'all can't get anywhere 'out startin' it up! If it doesn't start, that usually means y'all's got no fuel in engine tank. A boat 'out fuels like a krabby patty with no cheese or tamaters or any other of the fixins." Spongebob gasped dramatically in horror at this statement.

"A patty on its own ain't acceptable, is it?" He shook his head vigorously.

"Then y'all pretty much get the picture then. A boat with no fuel ain't acceptable either, and y'all 'ill get about as much use outta it as a plain patty."

"After firin' up yer engine, y'all gotta put it in drive. Puttin' it in drive has the boat goin' forward, puttin' it in reverse makes the boat go backwards. So basically y'all just pull this stick here forward." She indicated to the joystick.

"Next y'all gotta press lightly down on the accelerator with yer foot to get movin'. The more y'all push down on it, the faster y'all 'ill go. If you press down on the brake, y'all 'ill go slower, and if y'all keep yer foot on it long enough, it'll stop the boat. There's the accelerator," she said, leaning over him and pointing to it, causing a pink tinge across Spongebob's cheeks at the contact, which she luckily didn't notice. "... and there's the brake." She then gestured to the brake. "Think of 'em as the switches on yer grill. Accelerator's like turning the heat up, brake's to turn it down."  
>"Then there's the steering wheel..."<p>

spandyspandyspandyspandy

"See, was that so hard now?" asked Sandy, stepping out of the motorboat.

"Err..." Spongebob glanced over to the five boats that he crashed. Despite all the expert advice and brilliant comparasions she had given him, he still panicked and steered around willy-nilly, screaming about how advanced it was. Sandy, thankfully, hadn't gotten hurt over the crashes; he didn't even know why he had worried in the first place. This was /Sandy/ we were talking about here, who found finding hay in a sack of needles FUN. She was as tough as nails, it'd take a whole lot more than a few measly crashes to even cause one scratch on her. "No, not at all."

She followed his gaze and shrugged. "Don' worry, sooner or later y'all 'ill get the hang of it, I know it!"

He gave a tepid smile. "Thanks Sandy."

They slowly began to make their way from Jellyfish Fields to the Treedome, Spongebob's eccentric mood snapping back like an elastic band. He was... "showing off", you could say, to Sandy, about 'that time when Gary won first place in the Bikini Bottom Annual Pet Show'.

In no time at all, they reached Bikini Bottom, Sandy listening half-heartedly to Spongebob, who now was telling her "fasinating" story about chips being overcooked when they actually... weren't? Sandy gave a small inward sigh, looking over at him and wondering when he'd ever shut the hell up, when a call rang out, causing her to peer around vigilantly.

"Hey Sandy!"  
>A robust, scarlet lobster was jogging towards them, waving his brawny arm zealously.<p>

"Oh, hey Larry!" Sandy called out eagerly, waving back. Spongebob narrowed his eyes and mumbled something under his breath.

Larry halted beside her, noticing Spongebob for the first time. "Well well Spongebob, aren't you quite the womanizer. To be honest, I never thought you had it in ya. Congrats dude," he clamored, clapping him roughly on the back. "Say, would ya happen to have Patricia's number on you? She might need a little help mending that delicate little heart of hers, if you know what I mean." He nudged Spongebob and winked.

Spongebob had turned so red that you couldn't tell where Larry's arm ended and where Spongebob's face was, and Sandy was just standing there, mouth agape, blown out of her mind. What had just happened...? Patricia...?

Oh.

Pat. Ric. Ia.

"Um... Patricia?" she asked Spongebob, arms folded, drawing out the 'pat'. She'd tease him about his beetroot face later, and laugh at Larry's mistake with him later, but right now she just wanted to confirm her suspicion. Spongebob having a date that wasn't an inanimate object or some old person off the street was normal to her, but if Larry was actually interested in this 'Patricia' then something had to be wrong there.

"Oh. You didn't tell her yet, did you? Now /that/'s a man. I should've never doubted you kid- I mean man," he winked again. "I'll leave you two to your lover's quarrel, and if you bump into Patricia anytime soon, Spongebob... send her my way, will ya?" With that, he jogged away.

Sandy, still waiting for an answer, raised her eyebrows. Spongebob shook his head. Sandy smirked in triumph to herself; she knew Spongebob well enough to safely say that him and dating did not tie in well together.

Spongebob, clearing his throat, broke the uncomfortable - at least, uncomfortable for him - silence. "Wasn't that awkward...? With Larry thinking..." He trailed off, laughing bashfully.

"Y'all're telling me!" she exclaimed. Her words hung in the air, making Spongebob not the only one who felt uncomfortable anymore. "But what were y'all going on about before? Y'all just got to the twist 'bout the fries not being overcooked, what happened then?"

**spandyspandyspandyspandy**

Patrick got to Goo Lagoon, Hilly still sitting firmly in his palm.

"This, Hilly, is where the commoners gather around to play their mayonnise and crazy talking. You should not mingle with them, my love, for the stupidity is contagious. You don't want to end up like those undesirables." He laughed dumbly, and ran over to the beach outhouse. He put her down on the toilet lid, and closed the door, leaning against it.  
>"My girlfriend's in here. I'm going to propose to her when she comes out," he had informed a fish passing by.<br>"Congratulations, pal," it had replied sarcastically.

10 minutes later, a blue fish asked him if he knew the person inside there, and if they'd be done soon.  
>"There's a person inside there?" Patrick replied.<br>"I don't know, that's why I'm asking you," the fish said irritatedly. "Isn't that why you were waiting outside there?"  
>"I was waiting?"<br>"Ugh, move aside pinky," The blue fish opened the door after Patrick had moved, and was greeted with the sight of a mound of sand on the toilet.  
>"What is... why is... Never mind." The fish stretched a fin out towards Hilly, intending to wipe the sand mound off the toilet lid.<br>Patrick watched the fish's moments, and he added two and two together. "THE NERVE OF SOME PEOPLE!" He yelled, shoving past the blue fish and grabbing Hilly. He gave the fish another glare for good measure, and strut away off the beach, arms huddled protectly around Hilly, shielding her.  
>"That is why you must not mix with the commoners, Hilly. They invade personal space."<p>

**spandyspandyspandyspandy**

_I'm not going to press you to review, review if you want. I'll be content with looking at the story traffic. =)_

_If you have any ideas that you wanna lend me for what sound happen next, PM me with it and I'll reply to any suggestions I get! If I use any I get though, you_ will_ be credited in the chapter, don't worry._


	5. Chapter 5

_Hello! Anyone still reading? Lol. I've been thinking about what I should do for a while with this, and this finally came to me last night. Hope you enjoy!_

**x x x**

_ This was awful! The boat, the boat, it was-! _

Spongebob shot up from his bed, beginning his morning [and ending his nightmare] with an unnecessarily loud and involuntary shout of, 'PATRICIA!'.  
>His mind snapped into focus - well, into as much focus as one's mind can muster on mornings - and Spongebob quickly realized it was only a dream. A horrible one, at that. It had been plagued with plain Krabby Patties, undercooked chips, an inflated Ms. Puff, many burning boats, a... Patrica, an angry Sandy, bad knock knock jokes and other dreadful things that his subconscious decided to torture him with.<br>Neptune, was that scary. He felt the familiar prick of tears, which at this rate were pretty much a natural reflex to things the sponge defined as 'scary'.  
>But <span><strong>no<strong>! He was a **man**!  
>Even if it was due to misunderstood circumstances in an embarrassing situation, Larry, the 'image' of men, had officially recognised him as a man! He would honour the lobster's decision. It would take more than a little of a fake unconscious reality to push over this steady rock!<p>

"Spongebob Squarepants! You are fully aware of the fact that I am not proud of that part of my history, so if you would be as kind as to refrain from mentioning it!"  
>Patrick had seemingly materialized out of nowhere. How long had he been standing there for?! The starfish was staring at Spongebob from the foot of his bed, his eyebrows furrowed in his version of a 'serious expression'.<br>As much of a man Spongebob believed he was, even -he- couldn't survive an early morning verbal-and-visual assault from Patrick. The 'steady' rock was tipped. Spongebob yelped and jumped with fright, a reaction which soon made him find himself cling onto the diving board positioned over his bed.  
>"Patrick, why are you here?" Spongebob craned his head, glancing at the obnoxiously large foghorn alarm by his bedside. It read 6:30, and wasn't set to ring for another hour and a half. "I need to hurry and get ready for work!"<br>Patrick's annoyance left him as quickly as it had come - his mind could only handle one thought process at a time - as he remembered why he had been waiting for his friend to awaken. As he was about to answer, he stopped mid-word as he directed his gaze to the floor.  
>From this angle, Spongebob could see what had taken Patrick's attention. A familiar, medium-sized hill of sand was apparent against the light, beige shade of his bedroom floor. So Patrick brought his pile of sand to sit here with him. How nice.<br>"Hilly, I'm trying to speak here." Apparently the sand had talked. "Didn't you say you wanted to watch the House Fancy marathon earlier? I'm not letting you remodel my house again after last time, you're only allowed to watch those shows," Patrick announced sternly.  
>"Eh? No, no, that was just an extremely fortunate coincidence. Patricia and Patrick do sound alike, right? I think Patricia is... uh... Spongebob's mother."<br>"Patrick, my mother's name is Margaret," Spongebob deadpanned. Ignoring the sponge's input, Patrick gave Hilly what appeared to be a stare-down. Spongebob watched the display intently from his makeshift canopy, not having the option of much else to do. Patrick was impossible to deal with when he was in a mood like this.  
>"... It's true! I'm sorry, Hilly, she was me! Was. I'm a changed man, who isn't into things like that. All I need is you! Temporarily becoming Patricia was an ultimate last resort to stay safely residing in Bikini Bottom!" Patrick was reduced to tears as he dropped to his hands and knees.<p>

Spongebob looked back and forth between the pitiful starfish and the ever silent mound of sand, and let out a slow sigh. He descended from the diving board, climbing down the ladder. Stepping over a [still] blissfully snoozing sea snail, who was oblivious to the commotion around him, Spongebob stood before Patrick, pulling him to his feet and taking his hands in his, making Patrick look directly at the determined sea dweller. This was clearly a time where the starfish needed him.  
>"Patrick. I don't know your... circumstances, but there isn't a need for you to be like this. Whatever it is that's holding you two apart, I'm sure you can overcome it together. Hilly, you should trust Patrick when he says he's not proud of that decision. I was the one who suggested it, so if there is anyone to blame, it's me! It truly was one of the most terrifying experiences I've been through, almost losing your best friend," Spongebob declared solemnly as he looked at his friend. "Patrick, you should trust Hilly with the truth, and trust her not to judge. I'm sure if you explained it properly the first time off, she would have been a lot more understanding."<br>He unintentionally leaned closer, as if to make his point more firm.  
>"Relationships, whether it's friendship or love, require two people for it to be functioning properly. You shouldn't be leaving the work in it to only one person. It's supposed to be shared equally between you both." For impact, he glanced back and forth between the two troubled 'lovebirds'.<br>Patrick had long since stopped crying, but turned back on his waterworks as his friend finished his soppy but significant speech. It felt good to know his friend was there for him like this, and supporting of their relationship.  
>"Thank you, Spongebob. That really means a lot to me," he cried dramatically, hugging his spongy friend. When he let go, he turned to the waiting pile of dirt on Spongebob's floor.<br>"I'm sorry for not trusting you, my precious. Thinking back on it embarrasses me." Patrick cleared his throat.  
>"This is something I've been meaning to ask for a while now, but I could never find the right moment... Hilly the Sandmound, will you marry me?" From nowhere other than his pants, Patrick produced a small black box and traditionally dropped down to one knee.<p>

**x x x**

Sandy had never been one to let things go easily. When she wanted an answer, she would _get_ an answer. The scene with Larry had only slightly began to trigger her paranoia, to a certain degree at least. She calmly sipped her tea from her newly equipped surveillance room, her eyes flicking from screen to screen of each of her many monitors. She had coincidentally placed maybe about ten miniature spy cameras around both the rock and pineapple abodes of their respectful owners, determined not to let anything escape her attention.  
>A TV flashed with movement out of the corner of her eye. Setting down her tea cup, she swiveled her chair around and was immediately glad she had put down her drink. A very unexpected and conveniently angled image showed on the screen, giving a good view of the scene in front of her. Her yellow sponge friend, and the pink sea star, holding hands, gazing into each others' eyes. The situation was not aided by the fact that the sponge was clad in all his underweared glory. He was talking, but she did not install a voice recorder in the cameras, thinking that the echo of twenty plus screens would drive her mad[der]. Sandy cursed the lack of audio, wishing she had taken and endured the extra step. Knowing these two, this could very well be some stupid plot making them look unnecessarily suggestive.<br>Her eyes widened and those thoughts were thrown out the window as Spongebob leaned forward - dear Neptune! Her theories were practically in motion right in front of her... What should she think? By grace, the sponge pulled away and... looked about nervously?  
>Patrick began to cry. Fishpaste, she wished she could hear their conversation! He suddenly picked up the sponge and squeezed him, before Patrick let him go and... put his hand down his pants in an indicative area? Sandy was becoming more confused and somewhat disgusted by the second. Did she really want to see this? She considered turning off the monitor at that display, and at this stage her theories were practically kind of confirmed.<br>Before she could reach for her remote control, she was still watching the screen when Patrick was suddenly holding a ring box... down on a knee.

She shot off her chair as if it were in flames, backing away towards the control panel.

_Crack. _

Sandy was too shocked to remember her tea that was resting on the ledge behind her, effectively smashing the cup and sending scalding liquid over her advanced technology.  
>Unfortunately for her, this shocking mindset and situation could have been avoided, if her small cameras had a good enough resolution to distinguish the crucial contrast of the two clashing shades of the sand of which Hilly and Spongebob's floor were made, she may have noticed the infamous sand hill Patrick was 'dating'.<p>

**x x x**

The hidden camera that had recorded the 'provocative' moment made a small, sad whirring noise, as it suffered a sad and lonely power cut, similar to its nineteen other brethren.  
>Spongebob turned towards the source of the soft noise, but could not spot the well placed camera.<br>"Did you hear something?"  
>The two newly-made fiances were too caught in their own world to answer. Spongebob smiled at the moment, happy that he had mended the mood, and disregarded the strange, out of place sound.<br>A thought struck him; he looked at his alarm clock. It now read 6:57. Two hours and three minutes until the Krusty Krab opened.  
>"Pat, I'll leave you two be. I gotta get going to work or I'll be late! Use protection!"<br>Leaving a still dreaming Gary and the two newest item behind in his room, he grabbed his clothes and rushed to the bathroom.

**x x x**

_Oh dear. Seems poor Spongebob can't get any peace around here._  
><em>~ bumps rating to T when no-one's looking ~<em> _Where am I going with this, you may ask?  
>No idea. I'm just gonna hitchhike on a journey down the long road that is my mind. :D I'll begin more periodic updates, but we will have to stop for petrol sometimes. Can't run on an empty motor.<br>Before you complain about the road puns, this_ is _a story about driving. -shot- This was kind of me getting back on the road, soon Spongebob will be the one on it instead of me. -shot again- Don't worry, I'm still alive!... I think. _


	6. Chapter 6

_Hi! To cut it short, computer trouble. I had this ready last week._  
><em>The internet is 2 euro per hour, which is a rip off. I'm not coming here again, so I can't guarantee when the next chapter'll be. Sorry.<em>

As the Bikini Bottom sun slowly rose in the sky, time gradually passed in the deep sea restaurant. As you'd expect.  
>Even though the overeager employee had managed to arrive two hours in advance for work that morning, Mr. Krabs had predicted his extremely early arrival, considering he did this almost every day, and was already present at the locked door of the Krust Krab. The greedy crab welcomed Spongebob's obligatory, free manual labour with open claws. However, the enthusiastic sponge had no complaint with being taken advantage of. He probably didn't even realize that he was, anyway. At least he was enjoying himself.<br>Squidward soon arrived [at the normal employee time, mind you] and soon enough the fast food joint opened officially for its customers. Even at 9.00 AM, early in the morning, there was already a queue waiting outside the door, and many orders for Krabby Patties. As unhealthy as it might have been, eating greasy fast food for breakfast, a certain money-crazed crab certainly didn't mind the popularity; not to mention the 'ching' of the cash register as the day passed. Who needed a radio when you had such a lovely performance playing for you?

Through all these orders, Spongebob kept an intent eye on the boat in the dining area, as if it may roll away by itself at any moment. The previous day's driving lesson was fresh in his mind, and had made him see boating in a whole new light. He had arranged another lesson with Sandy after work.  
>Come to think of it, he never had let Gary know yesterday, or this morning, due to the distraction Patrick had proposed. He would call home later, and tell the snails his plans. Gary had gotten surprisingly good at using the shellphone, and could always go to Patrick if he got hungry at dinner - he had recently taught Patrick how to use a can opener, and he was now becoming a master. The sponge would feed him properly when he came home.<br>He would've loved to bring his pet along, but he didn't know how much better his driving would be today, even with guidance from a genius like Sandy, and didn't want his lovely snail in harm's way.

Spongebob repeated this process throughout the day - take and cook an order, deliver it to the customer 'with a smile', stare at the cashier-boat as he made his way back to the kitchen, while thinking of the recent and upcoming events. Lunchtime soon arrived, and as the 1 o'clock rush began to die down, Spongebob was voicing his joys and experiences with a less-than-enthusiastic squid, in a noisy, overcrowded dining room.

"... So it turns out, even if you try to swerve away from them, angry jellyfish will always still follow you! They also hit things really hard, and make big dents. They started eating the boat at one point too, but then it caught on fire, so we had to-"  
>Squidward removed his face from the magazine he had burrowed it into, as an attempt to drown out the imbecile sponge's drabbling. For once in his career, he was thankful that a customer was approaching. The frycook shut up immediately and stood at attention in the kitchen as soon as he heard the bell above the door announce their entrance.<br>Not looking up from his notepad, he nodded 'at' the customer stoically, scribbling down [what he heard of, at least] the customer's order in an almost illegible script. He then pushed the slip of paper rather cruelly onto the waiting sponge's face, covering his eyes.

Pulling it off, Spongebob tried to read the note.  
>"Squidward, what language are you writing in? I can't translate it," he stated, turning the paper over numerous times, as if the effort would somehow help him to understand the piece of writing.<p>

Ignoring Spongebob, the squid returned to his magazine. At least the frycook had stopped talking at 250 miles per hour into his ear.

_**xxx** _

Sandy's frustration and impatience was steadily growing, as she was faced with the front cover of 'Music Loving'.

She had asked the tentacled till-worker to call Spongebob, and instead he had made a meal order out of that request. Now said sponge was currently freaking out in the kitchen. She sighed, and decided to take it upon herself to fetch her desired 'companion'.  
>Going to the kitchen [without any staff permission, mind you, not that Squidward noticed. or cared], she pushed open the door, and with a wordless exchange, proceeded to grab the spasming sea creature and drag him out of the restaurant. No-one noticed the pair taking their leave, as all were engaged elsewhere, whether in conversation, awkward silence, or just staring at the table or their food, except for one minorly used background character, who watched them exit through the glass door.<p>

_**xxx** _

Safely outside the building, Sandy turned to Spongebob, who was still going through his 'fit'.

"Sandy! Sandy! Order! Customer! Writing-"

Sandy ended his rambling with a well placed karate chop to the head. That made her feel better, and it also snapped the sponge back to reality.

"Ow." Spongebob rubbed his now aching skull. "Thanks for that, Sandy."

"It's all good, partner," she replied, faking nonchalance. How dare he act so innocent.

"But wait! What about then ord-"

"I'm sure Squidward will take care of that."

"Are you sure? He seemed pretty down today, maybe he wasn't at his best. I was telling him about my driving lesson yesterday! He got snappy at me though. Perhaps boating is a sensitive subject for him," he pondered. "Maybe he's like me, and doesn't have his license. I've never seen him drive a boat before. He still rides a bike to work. Maybe he should take lessons with us! I can't wait for later, I'm so excited!"

Sandy gave him the nodding treatment, her facade slowly being chiseled down. He spoke too quickly for her to be able to catch every word, although she was pretty certain the sponge had a one-of-a-kind 'ability' with his driving 'skills'.

"Speaking of, aren't you here early? It's still only lunchtime, did you need something?"  
>Yes. She did, in fact, need something.<p>

Without answering, she took off her bubble helment. The sponge's eyes widened in confusion, concern for his friend growing.

"Um, Sandy? Why-"

Spongebob's query was cut off as the squirrel bent to his level, took him in a slight hug, and did something one hundred percent unexpected [at least, unexpected to him].  
>She kissed him.<br>On the lips.  
>A full, straight out blow. What the.<br>... Was that her _tongue_?! It felt nice, but was it supposed to do that?

Completely and utterly baffled by the strange, unnatural action, he stood still, shell shocked, heat unknowingly rising to his face. As Sandy pulled away and rapidly re-equipped her helmet, flushing out the sea water, she gauged the sponge's reaction.

"Okay, you're out of deep water when you give an explanation." Explanation for what? he wanted to ask, but he couldn't get the question out. She ponce again dragged the unresponsive sponge again, this time, the destination being her treedome. She was almost certain now that what she had seen this morning was most likely indeed an uncannily misinterpretive plot, intending to make the two sea dwellers look bad. She just wanted to hear it, straight from the horse's mouth. All thoughts were gone from the sponge's mind, including his plans to call Gary, as he let himself be pulled along. Poor Gary.

**_xxx_**

The diners of the Krusty Krab were glued to the window, watching the scene that was unfolding outside, after being alerted by the previous unimportant background character. As they all glanced between the flustered, motionless sponge, and the clearly satisfied squirrel, many of them gasped. he restaurant was silent for a moment, before it erupted into a loud, supportive cheer for the two, which made Squidward once again smash his face into his magazine. Over the random shouting, various fish began exclaiming,_ 'I saw it coming ages ago!', 'You go dude, we're rooting for you!', "They're so cute together!", 'They have such perfect chemistry!', '... Wait, so who's the dude in the relationship?'._ At that claim, the scene once again quietened, to the delight of Squidward, who was snickering at that query, as the audience began to consider the question, each being fully aware of Spongebob's 'manly' ways, and Sandy's 'feminine' ways. The retreating duo slowly escaped from their sight, as they attempted to solve this riddle.

_**xxxx**_

... Near a tree by a river, there's a hole in the ground ~ What? It's a good song!

Was going to upload chp. 2 of Right there also, but I don't have enough time. Sorry! :(  
>See you all soon, hopefully.<p> 


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